By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
