what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
