how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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