I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
