I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
