Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
