Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize