His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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