so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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