Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
