Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
