it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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