i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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