you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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