Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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