For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sext me about skeletons
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
