I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
