Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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