There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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