he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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