Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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