we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
