Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
