I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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