I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
