maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
