conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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