Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
im on a boat
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