I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
