Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
