I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
