bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
