Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
this boner is exhausting
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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