I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
