it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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