Betty ford says i'm here all night
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
