dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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