Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
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