True but thats because hes a fetus.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
