I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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