Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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