I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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