and next time when you feel me up, do it right
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
