if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
