Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
