wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
