I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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