I'm drive I can fine osifer
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
