SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
