i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
