Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
