I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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