dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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