I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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