He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
