The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
