I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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