I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
