I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
