he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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