The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
