I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
