Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
