i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
