i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
