Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize