Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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