I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
