very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
