Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
