okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
