Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
