we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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