Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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