so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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