i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
