alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
